Honest Friends and New Cloths!

Isn’t honesty one of the most treasured qualities in a person’s character? I find myself gravitating to really honest people. They have this ability to speak the truth even when they know I won’t like what they say.

I like to be honest with my friends, family and workmates. Sometimes I ask those with whom I am involved with in a project, situation or effort if they want to hear what I have to say about a question or problem we are working on. They say, “Be honest" so I do and most often it turns out well, mostly.

The easy route is making a safe controlled answer akin perhaps to pretending a baby whose diaper needs to be changed really doesn’t smell. We all know something needs to be changed here and the question is who is going to do it? Pass that baby around!

      Doesn’t honesty makes us better people. Lack of honesty hurts people subtly and often severely.

My friend Aaron is one of those loving honest people. After a meeting one day where a lot of good ideas were exchanged with healthy, even heated, pushback Aaron challenged me with some constructive honesty:

He said, “You always apologize to the group after you talk and you say, ‘I’m not that smart.' I think you should stop doing that, just say what is on your mind, it matters.”

Hearing his loving correction was like a searchlight on the self-effacing mask I often wear in public. Ouch, he found me!  I was reflecting a lack of confidence. “I’m not that smart” is a disclaimer saying, “…if you don’t like my offering please disregard it and don’t dislike me.”

From that point on I exchanged the need for confidence and simply exercised my competence. As Canadian jockey Red Pollard said in the epic movie Seabiscuit, “I got better. He made me better. Hell, you made me better.”

                 Honesty makes us better people.  Honest friends are treasures from heaven.

Is there somebody in your life that will be honest with you? Do you have a desire for honest input? Do you remember the short tale by Hans Christian Anderson about the Emperors new cloths?

That little boy in the story spoke honestly when the appeasing crowd just played it safe, watching the naked Emperor stroll by au naturel! It made headlines in the  Kingdom Chronicles the next morning!

Loving honesty is rare and when I find a friend who has it and will offer it to me, I want to keep them as friends for life and value their gift of truth saying! Thanks Aaron for being THAT guy!

Crossing the Chicken Line!

We lost Don on the way in to Pappadeaux in Cincinnati. We were ready to enjoy a long overdue dinner, catch up on life and savor  some great Cajun food that night. I asked Mirna, "Where is Don?" She explained that he sometimes meets people and starts talking about Jesus to them. And she said, "I do it all the time too!"

I looked out the window and sure enough Don was talking to a huge motorcycle guy in the parking lot. It looked like David and Goliath from the bible story only friendly! In a few minutes they finished talking and Don came in to the table and started dipping in to the crispy fried shrimp, calamari and fish bites on the appetizer plate.

I asked him if he knew the guy he was talking to. He said "No, I just had to cross the chicken line and ask if he knew Jesus and wanted a bible?"

The "chicken line." He had me...  What is the chicken line? This is a seafood place for Pete's sake! I wondered if there was another restaurant close by. So I had to ask, "Don, what is the chicken line?"

With Mirna watching and smiling with love and delight Don shared how that when he needed  courage to do something (like start a conversation with a stranger about Jesus) he gets it by drawing an imaginary line, a "chicken line". Then he said, "You step over it and you aren't "chicken" any more!"

                                                       I got it! I want it! I neeeeed it!

How many times do I want 1 second of courage, just 1, to say or do something I really want to or need to do? Often!

The chicken line helps. I can draw the line, step over and boom; the conversation is stared, the deed set in motion or the problem begins to be resolved. Go figure, the chicken line can help! Silly? Perhaps. Useful? Yes.

So to those who are courageous spiritual giants and have all the hutzpah you need, I salute you! When I grow up I want to be like you. Someday...until then I got me a chicken line!

Isn't a comfort zone an easy place to live where all is familiar and all is safe. To enter the unknown, break the ice with a stranger, start anew in a pursuit, confront an injustice or just step one more step into the future, might take more courage that you feel you have.

                 You do have amazing courage. Welcome to the chicken line...draw it and GO!

Thanks Don for mentoring me that day with the little ol' Chicken Line! Hey, we are crossing it today, together my friend!