Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Husbanding!

It all happened so fast and unexpectedly! Judy and I were seated in our favorite, "secret first class" spots on a Southwest Airlines flight. Before take off, a spry, smiling silver haired stewardess walked past us, turned and came back to our seats and stopped. She said to me, "Are you married to this woman?" gesturing toward Judy, with a fingers closed, low open wave of respect. I said, "Yes, why?" She then said, "Repeat after me!"

(BTW-If you don't fly Southwest Airlines it may be hard to understand that SW employees ENJOY their jobs, and have fun making flying more relaxed and pleasant for travelers)

So I braced myself and smiled and said, "Ok, bring it on" expecting a tongue twister or knock knock joke. Then she said "And, look into your wife's eyes!" Now I was really nervous! She said, "Repeat after me...what ever pleases you dear, makes me happy!" I repeated it and we all laughed, as well as the passengers around us preparing for four hours next to their new found flight-mates. She said, "That is all you need to know" and walked back toward the front of the plane.

I didn't give it much more though until later that day when I played the movie of my mind. You know, the rewind and replay of the days events, complete with reflections, should have saids, groans of sorrow, wishes for do-overs and proud feelings of, got that right, thank the Lord! Do you play the movie of your mind?

What the stewardess had given me was a lesson in marriage harmony (for man or wife) in seven or eight little words. What pleases you dear makes me happy; or ,your needs are first; or I am going to value you highly by sacrificing  for you; you get it. She made a difference that is still with me and a few others in earshot that day.

Some men might say that is just not manly. I beg to differ, my manliness is intact. I swim in shark filled waters, shoot, butcher and BBQ animals of all sizes, build buildings with tools using my hands and recently chased a mugger who stole a lady's purse! So I am feeling ok with manhood!

But here is the thing, I am learning to love the thrill of sacrifice for my wife. I'm not as good as I want to be. If I can say to her, while looking her in the eye, what pleases you dear makes me happy, and know I mean this with every fiber of my being (I just teared up) I think I am exercising a type of manhood that is worthwhile; and life-giving for Judy. I have MANY monuments to marriage stupidity, BTW. You?

There is an art to husbanding. Isn't it a mastery that will take a lifetime? Isn't it worth trying again and again to get this right? To go from bad to better, better to good and good to really a rippin' fun marriage? So here is a little  challenge from one poor boy (or girl)  to another. next time you are with your spouse...repeat after me...

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Sounds highly ROMANTIC and A VERY MANLY thing to say and do to one's life partner!!!!!! Especially since you play tennis with and against her!!!!!
Best,
Frank